I just fell down the stairs. I know. I only have three of them. But it was dark and I kicked my foot out to activate the light so I could see them, and when I did my other foot gave way beneath me and I fell and hit my back and then somehow ended up on my face. I just lay there crying for a minute because it’s just a fitting way to end my crap day.
I went in for my blood work today and I’ve gone from .4 to a .6. So I’m still neutropenic. My doctor thinks I won’t come up in time to even have chemo on Friday (though that won’t stop me from going in for another blood test and trying!). So yeah, no chemo tomorrow so we’ll see on Friday. I know that some people will think that’s not a big deal etc. but my whole world right now revolves on getting this done and over with. I’m so tired. I’m so ready to get through this that even postponing a day feels like being defeated.
The other thing too, is that if you’re reading this. Why not reach out and say hi? I’m finding that people just aren’t speaking to me. Not wanting to ‘burden’ me with their problems etc. but what it feels like is everyone is avoiding me. I can literally count on one hand how many people have spoken to me in the past week. 🙁 I guess it works both ways. I should make more of an effort….