After every appointment I have with my Oncologist, she sends a letter to my GP (General Practitioner aka my normal doctor) updating her on my progress. (Yes all my doctors have turned out to be women).
I always look forward to the letters because it helps me to further understand what’s going on with me etc. So I received the one detailing out what is going on and why my doctor stopped my chemo.
Here’s the medical jargon:
Devon has a new and quite abruptly severe grade 2 sensory neuropathy
Deep tendon reflexes are all but absent without reinforcement suggesting eventual recoverability if we stop chemo
Needless to say it upset me to actually read what’s happened to me. And even more upsetting, and what my doctor didn’t tell me, is that my numbness would continue to get worse…
I can no longer feel temperature in my fingertips and in many areas of my feet, including my toes. You wouldn’t think this is a big deal, and there are workarounds, but last night Elliott wanted me to check and see if Evie was too hot in her sleeping bag. I couldn’t tell. I also thought my hot chocolate this afternoon was cooled off, but I burnt my tongue. I can’t tell if food I heat up is hot enough and have to put it in my mouth to check. I also hurt my hand washing the dishes because the water was too hot (I’ve now bought gloves).
I was emotionally prepared for the potential long term implications of having chemotherapy but not prepared for the sudden onset of numbness. It makes each day a constant and depressing reminder of what I’m going through.
Tomorrow night we have a meeting with the radiographer (also a woman!?) to find out about the course of radiation I’ll be getting etc. I’m more than a bit nervous about having radiation treatments. I’ve seen some of the side effects and they aren’t nice 🙁