Evie and I had a really good day today, running errands and trying to get the house tidy for her party. On our typical walk down Northcote Road I noticed a woman near to my age wearing a bandana on her head and it struck me instantly that she also had cancer. She had no eyebrows, although they were delicately brushed on, and I instantly wanted to talk to her, to hug her and to just say ‘me too’.
For those of you who are avid readers of my small blog you’ll know how shocked I was to feel this way. By the time it registered in my head what I wanted to do I couldn’t find her anymore (typical!). I’m not sure what this means for me right now in my path but it’s probably positive that I literally wanted to embrace the physical embodiment of my future.
We had asked the doctors on Monday if I’d lose my hair and they said I will definitely lose it. I also spoke to the breast care nurse who said the top side effects of chemo most people get, hair loss, mouth sores and nausea. The nausea they will give me stuff with the chemo so I should never feel sick. Not much they can do about the other two.
I’m not feeling very well today physically. The lump under my arm is bigger and it’s making me very achy all over. My shoulders, neck and back are stiff. If I still feel like this tomorrow I’ll probably call the doctor, but I’ve read it’s pretty normal. I’ve taken to calling my swollen armpit my ‘Terms of Endearment’ lump. lol
Today I’m also remembering back to a year ago when I was in labour. Tomorrow is Evie’s Birthday (Thursday) and I’m feeling so grateful to have been with Evie for a year. I know she won’t remember any of it, but I am so happy that she is mine and I am hers. Elliott is so sweet. Whenever I ask him if he’s okay that Evie is my top priority he kisses me and says that’s how it’s supposed to be. 🙂