This morning I had the strangest appointment at the cancer centre. But before my appointment I was sitting in the Radiography waiting room surrounded by women in gowns. They were all staring at me (some of them were in wigs) and I know they were trying to figure out why I was there etc. They were all friendly with each other and chatting away. But I kept my nose down and in my phone. I really don’t want to be in this club. This really weird f*cked up club of breast cancer people. The fact that I have to walk into a building that says ‘Cancer Centre’ on it is just bad enough. I don’t want to make friends through it. Just please not yet.
Elliott waited outside in the car as Evie was asleep. He mentioned he’d bring Evie in when she woke up and I got SO upset. I never want Evie to EVER EVER EVER have to go into a building solely dedicated to cancer. It really upsets me. (And all of this before I’m going into an appointment to talk about my current level of distress.)
The breast care nurses meet with you after your diagnosis, during treatment and after, to help identify ways in which you could get support. I had to fill out a questionnaire before hand and the thing literally had a thermometer on it as a visual indicator of the levels. (rolls eyes) Then I had to go through and check all the things I’ve been distressed about for the past week. Well…there was quite a bit of stuff checked (no surprise). So the breast cancer nurse went through things with me and she tries to be understanding and supportive. But mostly I just nodded and she spoke and I thought of other things. Then at the end she saw I had circled a ‘6’. Apparently if I had circled a ‘7’ then they’d recommend counselling but she thinks I’m handling things ‘amazingly well’ and that my husband sounds ‘really thoughtful and supportive’. I’ve noted to never mark a ‘7’ on any of the upcoming forms!
It was mostly a waste of time but I did actually get a good recommendation on a dietitian to discuss a chemo diet. I’m hoping that they don’t rip my chocolate away from me. 🙁
Hey, it’s funny how the word ‘tit’ is actually in dietitian. Weird coincidence. 😛