Cancer Day 38: Spinning Wheels

So we had our appointment with our surgeon for a checkup, and good news, he’s signed me off! My nipple is still blue (eek!) and he said that will take up to a year to go away. We did ask him about the lumpiness around the incision. Lumps make us uneasy now… he explained that in order to fill the hole left by the tumour he needed to move the other breast tissue around. It needs time to heal and then eventually it shouldn’t be lumpy.
But, as the good ‘ol doctor typically does, I ended up not feeling the greatest when we left. He started talking about the BRCA stuff again and the way he looks at me it’s like he thinks he’s going to see me again, and not just for a checkup. He speaks softly and gives me sad eyes, and I know Elliott is worried about me, but honestly the BRCA stuff doesn’t phase me in the slightest. If I AM positive, then after the chemo I have surgery to remove both breasts. The biggest problem I’d have is changing the name of the domain name I just registered! I could still wait a couple years, have our other babies and then have my ovaries and fallopian tubes taken out. And he even said that there are new studies showing that the cancer starts in the fallopes and then spreads to the ovaries, and if I’m doing IVF later (which we would be) then I don’t need my fallopes to do that, so we could take them out sooner. It’s a very easy decision to make and I don’t have any emotion about it whatsoever. I would like to know sooner, because if it’s negative then I can stop spinning my wheels, but no one wants me to have to process anything other than the fertility treatments and then the chemo. But really I think some people would be more upset about me losing both breasts then I would! One dude in particular 😀

Feeling: Amused