I had a break on Wednesday from the doctors appointments so I went to see Karolin. It was a nice distraction. We’ve started telling people which in some ways is the hardest part. But we have to let people in, to let them help us.
Thursday was spent at St George’s. My oncologist has gotten me accepted into a special project called 100,000 Genomes, where the government is attempting to map 100,000 people’s genomes who have cancer or rare disease in the hopes that one day there might be a cure.
When we showed up to the hospital the receptionist said they needed to do a test first and ushered us into a waiting room. Whilst Elliott and I sat there we noticed it was a radiology waiting area. And there was a big poster on the wall discussing various tests and I noticed the one for core biopsy. It all clicked into place…they were going to need a fresh sample to submit for testing. I got upset/anxious but I sucked it into myself. I then went through what had to be the longest sample retrival I’ve ever had. They took three samples, and took forever doing it. I had just assumed they’d take their samples when they took my breast, but nope.
The nurse was inexperienced, and kept pushing really hard on my cut. I told her she didn’t need to push so hard but she said it was to help stop internal bruising.
Because I care about bruising for a boob that’s about to be cut off.
Then we met with my oncologist, who once she heard that I had the test first was very apologetic. But I was in pain, and a bit short with her.
We wanted to meet with her to get a timeframe in our heads. How long this time? What will we do? How will this all work?
4 rounds of carboplatin, one every 3 weeks
Could be done by Christmas
But then she threw something else at us….
We might not need chemo
Wait, what!? What did she say? I instantly thought I’d not trust my body to not have chemo. Elliott says he instantly thought we’d still have it.
But here’s her reason: once we have surgery, it could be that the cancer is so small, so minute that she wouldn’t need to give us chemo. So we won’t know until a couple weeks after surgery what will happen. Are we hopeful? Not really. My cancer is still aggressive. It’s still there, we want to nuclear bomb it, not just remove it. So we shall see.