Last night I saw online that a woman who has posted alongside me on a triple-negative cancer group on Facebook has succumbed to this miserable disease. She, like me, had a blog and I read most of her final post before I couldn’t read anymore.
And yes, I know what you’ll say, that I shouldn’t be reading things. And trust me, I know you’re right. You guys are usually right about these things! But it’s too late, and hopefully I’ll know better for next time. 😉
This woman had found her cancer the same time I did, in 2014. She also went into remission but hers came back quicker, and it had already spread. There wasn’t much she could do to get rid of it and it finally got to the point where she chose palliative care vs more chemo and invasive treatments. Her blog post was unlike anything I’ve read insomuch that her last post was actually her writing that she knew the end was coming, and a big portion of it was to the others of us that are still going through treatment.
She said that people kept telling her to be strong, be brave etc. But she said really what the words are was that she needed to endure. That it was the enduring that she couldn’t take anymore.
I keep thinking of that word and crying. Because it’s SO incredibly true. We endure this harsh treatment and these side effects in the hope that we get more time with our loved ones. We endure because we want to live!!
I’m so very sorry that this woman passed, and I’m happy that she felt she chose the best outcome for herself. I feel that her words have provided me a sense of clarity around my own choices and that my choosing to continue to endure will eventually lead me down a path that’s free and clear of cancer.
Much love to all of you xx