The house is dark and everyone is still asleep. I’m sat here awake eating toast and drinking coffee. Why am I awake? Because even with a nap, by the time Evie goes to bed I’m so tired that I get into bed myself and I’m asleep by 9. So 9 hours of sleep is pretty good really!

I’ve been home for a week now and I’m very up and down. Physically I notice a difference every day. I can go up and down a few stairs now, I feel stronger etc. mentally I’m all over the place. I’m happy seeing the girls everyday and hearing their giggles. But I keep reliving the icu, having nightmares and cold sweats. Sometimes I wake up for a couple hours in the middle of the night and just lay there.

It’s all getting better, but I’m not a patient person!

Because of the cuts across my stomach and the back of my legs, I can never be really straight, so it causes really bad back and shoulder pain. To top it off all week I’ve had a bad stomach, cramping etc. The cramping got so bad we ended up back at the hospital for a Ct scan. They couldn’t find anything wrong and said it might be my system in overdrive from having not been on for so long. It’s much better now but it’s all just wearing me out.

I’d love to have some fun, if only I had the energy!!