Cancer Day 62 / Chemo Session 1/7: Shattered

Was SO exhausted yesterday. Went to see our friend Sam win her first ever bikini competition! Very proud of her 🙂 But then by the time we got home and got Evie to bed I was just absolutely spent. Ended up being in bed asleep by 8. Poor husband of mine! I don’t know how to describe it but I’m not nauseous, I’m more like sleepwalking. I feel SO fatigued, but then sometimes can’t even sleep. And when I woke up after sleeping 11 hours, I still felt more tired than I’ve ever been.
I know though if this is the worst of what it will feel like being on chemo then I can do it. But it’s hard because it feels like someone has sucked the joy out of things. It takes so much energy to be in the present moment and I keep just fading in and out.
Our nanny starts Monday which will really serve as a backup to me not being really with it. It’s going to be so weird but I need to keep reminding myself that I need to take care of me for a change. That I need to get through this with the least stress and pressure as I can, and to savour the moments with Evie and Ell and not worry about the small stuff.

Feeling: Tired