Cancer Day 76 / Chemo Session 2/8: So lost :(

I’m feeling better in general from the chemo on Friday. One excellent piece of information I’ve gleaned from blogs is to take Claritin allergy medicine after my white cell injection. I’ve barely had any pain at all now so am hoping that continues.
But I feel depressed. My hair is everywhere, I can’t roll my head on my pillow without hair getting in my mouth, my eyes. I’ve gotten the hair off it a few times but it’s just really coming out now. I will be completely bald within a few days.
I feel like people stare at me in the street. The stick thin, sickly girl with no hair. I’m glad I’m still on the anti-nausea meds so that I don’t feel even worse about it all. And yes I know it will grow back etc. but it’s much harder than I thought it would be. Sitting here, poisoning myself, losing my identity. I have a session with my hypnotherapist tomorrow and it couldn’t come at a better time. I need help.

Feeling: Sick