Cancer Day 18: Oh Khaleesi

The past couple of days have been a weird blur, a good blur but very weird. Yesterday we went and paid off the guy whose car I ran into the day before my surgery.
And I’ve been trying to get my head around all the fertility stuff. Elliott let me google it and I’ve read about what we’ll need to do in order to protect my eggs. I was hoping we’d be able to do sort it all out in the next couple of weeks but we might have to wait another month. I know there’s no rush but I’d like to see the other side of this chemo business. I’ve been thinking a lot about my hair and I don’t think I’ll feel too bad about losing it. We’ve agreed no head scarf as that definitely draws attention. I’m fine being bald but Elliott says I should get a wig, like Khaleesi from Game of Thrones. lol! I don’t know what I’ll do. I’ll probably get one just so we can go out sometimes without people staring but if they do I might be able to just say to them, ‘do breast self-exams and the only bad thing is that you won’t have hair for awhile but you’ll still have your life!’. grin emoticon
Today was a lovely day but I keep forgetting I just had surgery so I overextend myself and then end up a bit sore and a bit tired. Luckily I have a family who loves cuddles and naps so we’ve had plenty of both today.
It’s funny how the cancer has not only changed me but changed people who know me. I’ve gotten loads of lovely flowers and gifts from so many. Messages of inspiration and love from some people that I would never expect but really appreciate. And then I’ve gotten no messages or words whatsoever from people who are actually related to me. It’s strange how people process things and sometimes that’s by running away. I’m not sure how I would react if someone close to me got cancer. I mean I know I wouldn’t run away and abandon them, but I wouldn’t know what to say or do and I’m going through it right now!! I hope I never have to but it’s so hard even knowing what to ask for, how to let people in to help and to love. I hope I’m doing it the right way. 

Feeling: Loved