Cancer Day 181 / Rad Session 10/20: Finally a learning

Each time Elliott gets on a plane I worry, and more so when he’s on a plane to the Middle East. Given the events of the last couple of days I’m just a bit anxious about it.
Simply put I can’t imagine having a life without him in it. I guess that’s why you get married right? But with everything going on the last few months it really makes us see how much we do for each other, to be happy, to build a life together. Any step or any day in the future without Elliott sounds like crap.
If you’ve been reading this you know that I’ve been trying to figure out what I’m supposed to learn from this experience. Well I think I unlocked it, or at least a big part of it. I’ve given up on a lot of things in my life because I wasn’t very good at it (or didn’t think I was). Singing, crochet, running, certain friendships, etc. And fighting breast cancer was something I knew I couldn’t give up on. I knew I had to win at it, so I could be here to watch my girl grow up, so I could have more days with Elliott. And I’ve had some very low points but when I look at the photos of my low points they make me feel like I’ve achieved something, that I’ve fought a battle and won. I will continue to fight and to win because I want to have more days and more great moments!!

Feeling: Proud