Cancer Day 71 / Chemo Session 1/8: Falling out….

No sooner than I posted how happy I was, that I brushed my hair and a handful came out. It gave me such a shock. I think probably because I had forgotten it was going to fall out, and other then my port I’ve been feeling SO good, so much like myself that part of me considered that it might not fall out at all.IMG_7267
But no, it’s definitely coming out. My hair cut isn’t until Saturday and by then I might not have any hair! It needs washing but I’m really worried what that process might entail.
I didn’t think I’d be so precious about my hair. I told myself for quite awhile that it would be fine, that it’s just hair and that it will absolutely come back. But I feel like it’s robbing me of who I am. That whilst I feel so good the cancer wants to remind me, and everyone around me, what I’m actually going through. It really f*cking sucks. I’m not a huge fan of my hair anyways so I know I’m just holding onto the idea of it. I’ve bought a hat to sleep in just in case my head gets cold. I need to get a different one, a brighter colour or something because it’s light pink and it just looks weird.
In other news I got my NHS medical card in the mail, free prescriptions for the next 5 years. whoop whoop 🙂
I’m a bit nervous about chemo session for Thursday. I’m not sure why considering I know it will all go smoothly etc. But I just hope I don’t have anymore problems with my heart. It keeps doing a weird beating thing and giving me a shock. It has to be sorted very soon.

Feeling: Nervous