Elliott told me last night that all day yesterday I was being Crabitha Keller again. And I don’t think I was, but I’m definitely stressing about Friday, my next chemo session. It’s just the unknown. How will it make me feel? What will the process be like? What will the next hours and days be like after it? Will I be able to sleep? Will I feel better on this next one then others? and on and on….
A few weeks ago I joined a Facebook group for young women with breast cancer. And when I was in hospital I posted for the first time about how I was nervous about Paclitaxal and one of the women said that it was ‘hell and sorry to be the barer of bad news’. She knew I was sat in hospital and still said that to me. I know I asked the question, but there is a way to tell someone something without resorting to being so hateful.
Anyways I dwelled on it forever and decided to send her a message and tell her how hurt I was. That her having gone through it she should be kinder and help support others through their ordeals, not to be so nasty. And I was shocked, but she apologised!! I was glad I stood up for myself, but I did realise that from the beginning of this journey I haven’t really wanted to make friends and have a massive support group of women who’ve gone through it like some others have had. So I quit the group. And I’m really glad I did it, because my journey is my own and I don’t need a bunch of nasty people bringing me down when I’m doing so well staying positive.