I’M DONE. FINISHED. NO MORE CHEMOTHERAPY
What used to be 8 chemo sessions is now just 7. No more pain, no more poison running through my system. DONE.
Apparently the numbness was much worse than I thought. I saw my doctor today and she did a series of tests where she’d run a cotton wool bud (q-tip for Americans) or a needle onto my fingers, toes, palms etc. and make me identify which one she was using. I didn’t do very well. 🙁
I have numbness in my fingertips and up to the second knuckle in my toes. I also have hypersensitivity in some areas, so basically feel too much. She explained that if she gave me this week’s chemo then I’d not be able to feel my hands and feet. I’ve been maxed out on the chemo that I can have.
To say I’m shocked is an understatement. I didn’t even know it would be an option to just stop. I’ve been assured that I shouldn’t think my cancer will come back by not having the last treatment. That other standards of treatment for BRCA negative is to just have four doses of AC. The fact I’ve had three of Paxlitaxal is a bonus and I should feel that I’ve really gotten through it. It will take up to 6 months for the feeling to come back, and I should expect it to come back to about 95%.
I can tell you this comes at a great time. I’ve been really, really low this past week, the lowest I’ve been this entire journey. I’ve lost my eyebrows and eyelashes. I’ve gained a bunch of weight from the steroids, been feeling bad about myself in general. And to top that off I’ve been in such pain that I’ve been angry, short-tempered, and even just mean. (All to my poor husband, who clearly doesn’t deserve any of it.)
So next up is having my port taken out (trying to get it done ASAP) and our appointment with the radiographer which is next Tuesday. I’m hoping we’ll be able to start radiation as early as mid next week.
Now I can start to figure out who I am. I can have my life back, WE can have our life back.
We’re free now.

Feeling: Emotional