I’m feeling SO much better this afternoon after my hypno session. The lady I go to specialises in cancer patients so she’s seen and heard practically everything. I was with her for two hours and I can tell you I feel lighter, happier and that I can keep going with this damn chemo.
I’ve realised lately I’m also mourning my grandmother. I guess when things combine all together sometimes it’s hard to piece out what exactly you’re sad about. I just miss her so badly. I wonder all the time what she’d say to me at all my different points. I wonder if she’s at peace, if she can see and feel what’s going on. I just really miss her so much.
I keep telling myself that this will soon all be over. I mean even at the end of August I’ll be halfway through my chemo. And then either radiation or surgery. I know I can get through this. And I’m asking for help, and getting it.
My lady also said something else, in that I’m prolonging my hair falling out. That I should really just buzz it all off because once I’m bald I can’t be even MORE bald. And that will be the worst of it. That even if the chemo has a cumulative effect, then I’ll just be more tired. But I’ve prepared for tired. I have people around me to help look after Evie and even me. So probably time to get rid of the hair. x

Feeling: Okay