One month ago today I had my surgery. Can you believe it’s been a month already? I can and I can’t. It seems a bit of a haze but I’m most definitely on the mend.

On Saturday I had my echo. I’ve been worried about my heart, but it’s stronger than I thought. I have an ‘ejection rate’ of 62% which is normal and I was strangely relieved. How can someone be relieved they can have chemo when they don’t want to have it in the first place. Can/Can’t, Want/Don’t want. No reason I’m emotional and confused all the time! ha!!

I’m asked all the time how I feel and most of the time I try to not think about how I feel. The real answer is that I probably feel too much, too often and it’s easier to keep busy then sit around and think about how I feel all the time.

Most of the time I feel raw but I try to ignore it and know the feeling is only temporary and will pass.

So what’s next? Next Monday I meet with my oncologist to find out what the chemo plan is and when I will start. I still think it will be around the 14th September.

Tonight I take my last pill of antibiotics, last one! I’ve been on them for 5 weeks and I can’t wait to see the back of them. I want to heal and be at my strongest so I bear the storm that’s coming as best I can.