Cancer Day 110 / Chemo Session 4/8: This is a long one!

IMG_7461So there is lots of good news so far. The first one is that my husband is now home (hooray), secondly due to his magical influence I’ve been moved into a lovely room at the hospital. Like moving from economy to business class. Hardwood floors, swish bathroom. Just the better room makes a huge difference in my mental health, which let’s face it, has taken a beating over the last few days.
My temperature’s gone, my mouth sores are still really painful and making it difficult to speak, but I think they are almost gone.
I’ve had a lot of weird/crazy things happen the last few days that I’ve been meaning to write about and as all I’m doing is laying in bed, I’ve got lots of time on my hands to share trivial information you probably won’t want to know about so expect this post to be the longest ever. ha!!
So the first one is on Wednesday I had to give a urine sample. Sometimes in the UK you get a tiny small bottle to wee in, and sometimes it’s huge like a plastic bowl. They gave me this huge bowl and I went to wee in it and somehow (even though it’s a huge bowl) I managed to wee all down the back of my leg, soaking through my jeans. !!!!? I have thought through the logistics of what I did and I think I messed up my hovering technique enough that the bowl angled the wee outwards, soaking my jeans. So that happened at the cancer centre, before I knew I was being admitted. So I’m walking around with wet jeans and then they sat in a bag for two days until I had Ell take them home. (that’s what love is!) Not one of my greatest moments but you’ll be happy to hear that I had to wee into a tiny bottle today and I passed with flying colours. I had something to prove on that one I think!
Another thing is that the breakfasts here are really good. I get almost anything I want and it’s fresh, hot and tasty. I get my own pot of hot chocolate every morning. It’s a lovely breakfast in bed. Lunch and dinner are a bit hit and miss, but only from what the options are. They usually have a meat, fish or veg main and then other extras and a nice pudding you can choose. But if it’s lamb and plaice and then a curry (like today’s lunch apparently) I feel a bit screwed. I wrote that I just want some salad and potato. We’ll see if I get it!
My Dad Dick Keller​) once told me that I should talk to people when i’m in hospital, get to know them etc. At the time I didn’t understand why, but now I think it’s important that you’re memorable. Let the nurses and doctors see photos of your baby, have a good chat with them about how long they’ve been here, do they like it, etc. and if you can…make them laugh. I find getting them to laugh makes my time easier, their job better, and they end up taking better care of me. Very good lesson.
And lastly….some hospital advice if you’re ever in for a bit…
1. Pay attention to what the staff do. They are humans and like us they mess things up. Just last night there was a HUGE air bubble in my line to my port. They didn’t notice it but I did. Tiny ones are okay. Huge ones are a fast-track ticket to goodbye.
2. Get in good with the nurses. Doctors are not the ones who run anything. They are great problem solvers, some have people skills (thankfully my oncologist and surgeon have both) but most of the ones you see on a night-shift Friday (or like on Wednesday re blue tit), they are just crap. My one last night at 1am asked me three times if I really needed a sleeping pill. There’s more light in this room then mine at home, I’ve got a machine that’s pushing fluids into me making noise, my pulse is 115 and pounding in my ears/head and I’m super stressed. He thought it would be a good time to see if I was a drug abuser. But I insisted and was able to get 6 hours uninterrupted sleep.
The nurses know the doctors can be crap. Mine last night rolled her eyes after he left. She knows. She knows me and what I need. They also care about you if you care about them. I woke up this morning drenched in sweat. It had soaked through my bed sheets, duvet and pillows. She helped me to my chair and changed everything whilst we had a good chat.
When I was having my blood transfusion I got really serious with one and asked her….’Will this turn me into a vampire?’. She couldn’t stop laughing. Nurses make everything better.
3. Never underestimate the power of a visit
I was at my lowest, probably in my entire life, over the last few days. I knew at the time I was upset but only looking back do I see how bad it was. I try to be brave, and with Elliott gone I didn’t want him to worry. Karolin​ offered to come see me and at first I was like nah, I got this! But I let her, and it changed me. She was here just an hour and I forgot about breast cancer, hospitals, mouth sores, feeling crap. We talked about pizza and our girls and just normal girly stuff and she left me in a much better way then she found me. Best friends do that for you. They uplift you and take care of you and when you let them they change your life. I’m very thankful for mine 🙂

Feeling: Good