Cancer Free / Day 259: So Happy x

Before I had pneumonia at the end of June I was feeling really down. I kept thinking how much easier it was being in hospital. I’d sit there and have lovely food delivered to me and watch my shows. I had no responsibility other than to feel better. I had kept transporting back to that time in my mind and wished to be back there, where things were easier and I had no stress.
But then I was…and it was miserable. I think though that I had been on a downward spiral, unable to shake little colds that kept coming my way and I had a cough for weeks….I was a nervous wreck and had told Elliott before we left for Sweden that I wanted to go see my oncologist as I was worried my cancer had come back and spread to my lungs.
But then I wound up exactly where I had kept dreaming about….in a hospital bed. And even though my cage was nice and I was treated by lovely people….it was still very much a cage.
And since then, since I have recuperated I am so so happy. I don’t want to be back there, I don’t want to lay on a bed. It’s not a life I want to live and it’s not a life worth living. I want to be busy and raising my daughter. I want to love my husband and see my friends. I want to work hard and enjoy my life and I can’t do that inside of a hospital room.
So here, on this lovely sunny Friday, let’s embrace the perspective that our universe offers up to us and be eternally grateful for all the joys we have in our lives. xxxx
Feeling: Fantastic