I’m the first person to admit that I get a nervous wreck before chemo. Especially this one. So I offer up that sometimes I don’t know if I’m unwell because I really am unwell, or if it’s all in my head. I missed the second cycle of Gemcitabine last time so had no idea of knowing what it would be like and it was getting to me.
And I still don’t know what the second cycle of chemo is like!
Last night I woke up at 3am feeling the worst nausea ever and promptly threw my guts up. Popped an anti-nausea and went back to sleep. But this morning I was still nauseous. Managed to eat some breakfast, took my antibiotic and then Ell’s Mum, Jennie and I were off to the cancer centre. This time I asked to see the doctor on staff because my stomach was cramping so badly. They did all the things they do and after again throwing up a few times in the bathroom they worked out that somehow I’m neutropenic and I have two viruses on board (discovered in my wee). Oh and had a fever that I didn’t even notice!?
But of course I ended up at the hospital thinking I was going to have chemo and ended up having 3 separate needles for blood tests plus an injection in my stomach to try to raise my white blood counts only for them to end up cancelling my chemo.
I have new anti-nausea meds and I’m supposed to keep taking my antibiotic and come back on Friday and do it all again! 
This is the worst part of this whole process. The constant waiting, the wondering, the stress and pain of all the needles. I was so exhausted from it all that when I got home I fell asleep for a bit. I can eat now and feel much better then I did this morning. But gosh I’m exhausted!!!