My life has always been an interesting one. Never a dull moment and all that jazz. So I’ve been dragging my feet on buying a new hairbrush. My hair is longer and I really wanted a round drying brush that was smaller so I could get the ends to curl under better.

So I finally bought one and it was delivered today.

And it would just figure that today, of all the days to have a hairbrush delivered…my hair started falling out.

Not falling out, big clumps or anything like last time. I was in the shower washing it and lots and lots of strands from all over were coming off in my hands.

I had a massive freak out, shouting and crying. I felt like it was the moment I found out I had cancer again. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think straight. I thought for sure, “this is it”. Thank heavens Elliott was home. I don’t know how I would have coped with any of it without him. So after drying it and being very gentle, it appears that it’s starting to thin. I’m really not sure what it means. I can’t see any bald patches or bits anywhere. I think if it really got to that point I’d shave it off.

But it’s funny, I was just getting smug about my hair, thinking how lucky and amazing it’s been I’ve had it for so long and then of course BAM, no Devon, we’re still going to get you!

I went and had my short infusion of Gemcitabine today. So definitely now only one cycle of chemo left. In the cancer centre today it was filled with people who were bald, wearing wigs, or one woman whose hair was thinning so badly all over it was just really sobering to look at her. Basically I was pretty teary this morning.

I’m okay now though. I bought myself a new orchid for my bedroom and it cheered me up. I also laughed at the tape dispenser that said “chemo” on the side. If I’m able to laugh then I know I’m okay. The 24-hour rule still applies though. I get 24 hours from when something crap happens to feel badly about it, then I have to pick myself up and be positive.

So I’m sort of okay. Sort of. xoxo